What's for Dinner?

Your Dinner... It's MOVING!

Mon, 09 Jul 2007 15:06:39 GMT

Well, I think that I've been too limited by LiveJournal for too long... Can't change the template, can't put my tags on the page, can't post links to other sites in the margin... So I'm moving over:

http://whatsfordinnergina.wordpress.com/

That's the Wordpress link, and I've gotten all the posts over to that spot, but I can't figure out how to get the comments over there... So you guys will have to comment away on the new posts. Just to, you know, make me look popular...

And of course, if you just use the link:

http://www.whatsfordinner.us/

That will take you over there, too. Either of those will work -- just DON'T use the http://no-movie-star.livejournal.com address in your bar.

Thanks for reading, everyone, hope you like the new changes!

G

Devil Tongues

Fri, 06 Jul 2007 16:16:06 GMT

I've become fascinated, over the last year or two, with dipping various things in chocolate. It started with a friend at my old job (her name is also Gina) that brought in these no-bake cookies. She frosted one Ritz cracker with marshmallow fluff, one with a thin layer of peanut butter, and made a sandwich out of them. Then you dip the "cookie" in melted Hershey bar chocolate, and cool them on parchment paper in the fridge. They are UH. MAY. ZING. Do not deviate from Hershey bars, she warned me. Nothing else works.

Well, of course I experimented. You know how I am. I mean, in the Garden of Eden, the addition of a snake using his forked devil-tongue to talk me into anything that I know I shouldn't do would have been completely superfluous -- because I would have gone STRAIGHT for that tree the moment I was told not to. Also, I had chocolate chips at home that I needed to use up. But the chips dry too hard and have an unpleasant "crunch" that spoils the cookie... and if you add a little milk, you end up with what is basically bechamel sauce, and it will never totally dry (though it's great on ice cream... or cheesecake). So for anyone but the expert candy maker, I say, USE HERSHEY BARS. Be ye warned.

Also, when you are melting chocolate, use a double-boiler method. It is really easy to burn the chocolate, so use indirect heat, or microwave for a few seconds, and just keep stirring until it all melts together. Don't keep nuking it, or if using a double-boiler, take it OFF the heat.

So what I've done here is take the chili-coated dried mango slices that they sell at Trader Joe's, and dip half of those in chocolate, and cool them on parchment paper (they will not stick, and then you can put them all in a tupperware container). Have you had chili spice with chocolate? It is really wonderful. They are paired a lot in Latino cooking, and these "tongues" are not too hot -- just savory. I call them "devil tongues" because, well, that's what they look like, because they're a little bit spicy, and in honor of the little voice in my head that tells me to dip things in chocolate.

Turkey Taco Time!

Mon, 02 Jul 2007 15:37:06 GMT

Nearly all of the time, you'll see me saying something like, "Hey, if you don't like this, switch it out or change it." But just this once, I think you should make my tacos exactly the way that I make them and see what you think. Chris and I could (and often do) eat these once a week, and they earn rave reviews from guests that may have been leery at first. I'm gonna be really specific here. Note the order, the layering, and the ingredients. You want to change anything, that's great! Just don't tell people you're making MY tacos. 'Cause you're not. I know, I'm being very fascist about this, but these are THE TACOS, and they are perfect and holy. (My mood will pass and I'll go back to being light-hearted and free-wheeling about procedure after this, I promise you.)

The Meat:

In the photo above, the tacos are shown with easy Crockpot taco chicken, which is also great instead of the turkey meat. The recipe for that is:

4 chicken breasts, either frozen or fresh
a liberal dusting of mexican seasoning (scroll down that page)
1/2 jar of jelly, any kind (low sugar is okay, but not sugar-free)
1/2 jar salsa
salt and pepper

Cook for 4 hours if fresh, 6 hours if frozen, or just until the chicken shreds easily with two forks.

If you're doing the ground turkey meat version, I use about a pound of ground turkey meat, added to about two cloves of diced garlic, and half a hefty diced onion that has been "sweated." When the meat has been browned with the onions and garlic, drain off the water using a lid. Return it to the heat, then add a liberal dusting of the mexican seasoning (scroll down that page), salt and pepper. When that is all mixed together, add about a half jar of your favorite salsa to the meat and mix that in. This is the key to getting turkey meat that is never dry and is nice a savory. At the last moment, add diced fresh cilantro and mix that in.

The Guacamole:

I know I've shared my guac recipe with you before, but here it is again with the reminder that it is PERFECT (I know... what is going on with me today, huh?):

2-3 ripe avocados
1/2 diced jalepeño
1/2 diced red onion
2-3 cloves minced garlic
1 small palmful minced fresh cilantro
juice of 1-2 limes
salt and pepper

I firmly believe that the salsa, as you can see, should be added to the meat, not to the avocados. What you want to taste are the avocados, and it shouldn't be mush. I like to mix it all once, just at the end, so it is nice and chunky. You can eat on this liberally with some chips and cerveza until the tacos are ready.

The Order:

Assemble the tacos in the following order. Yes, I am completely serious. DO IT THIS WAY. I'm going to know if you don't.

When the shells have been warmed for a couple minutes in the oven (and yes, if you don't do this you are a barbarian), use the back of the spoon to "frost" one inner side of the taco shell with light or fat-free sour cream. Doing this creates a "Spackle" that holds all the other ingredients in, and also distributes your sour cream throughout without taking up precious vertical space that can be used for the "stuffage" of other ingredients. (Yes, that is a technical term, and don't question me again, private!)

Next, place your taco meat in the bottom, then the shredded cheddar or mexican cheese blend, and then the lettuce (and thou shalt not use iceberg, but mixed spring greens, red lettuce, or romaine are good). Then take your guacamole and spread it over the top. Again, we have a kind of Spackle or caulking effect here, and putting it over the top seals in all your other loose ingredients.

Lastly, and most importantly, put a easy drizzle of Western Light dressing over the top. Don't use a different dressing, and oh lord Francine, don't skip it, and I can't even look at you right now because I can-NOT believe you even asked me that. Sheesh!

There she is! Packed with nutrients, lower in fat than your plain old Velveeta and beef taco, and who really cares? Because the main thing is that it tastes one thousand times better.

The leftovers also make a great taco salad assemblage, just store the meat and the other ingredients separately, and reheat the meat. I also like to add a can of baby corn, and a can of black beans (rinsed and drained). Leftover guac (not that we usually have any) will actually keep in the fridge for a day or two without browning, because there is plenty of lime juice in it.

Enjoy. The perfect taco, with the chicken or the turkey. I know I was hard on you, but anything this great usually don't come easy, and now you can make these in minutes. You are welcome.

Turkey Burger Summer

Wed, 27 Jun 2007 18:07:28 GMT

This house is the official "Turkey Burger Central." I'm lucky to be married to a guy who doesn't really care for red meat, and doesn't really fight me on these things. Once in awhile, if we go out, we will splurge on a beef burger... But at home, it is strictly turkey meat.

The one thing about turkey is that I don't feel that it has as much inherent flavor as the fattier beef counterpart does, so I have experimented a lot with different seasonings. My favorite (other than the "Turkey Tricolore,") starting with ground meat and shaping the patties, has the following seasonings added:

a half-capful of Liquid Smoke
a couple shots of Worcestershire sauce
a little Adobo seasoning (or garlic powder)
a shake of ground cumin
1/2 a medium diced onion
one egg
a little salt and pepper

After you flip them once, then brush on a little chili sauce. I like to top them with cheddar, or turkey bacon, and a little lowfat mayo sometimes.

You can also substitute the chili sauce with BBQ sauce, whichever you prefer. We like veggie fixings and whole-wheat buns.

Another variation I like is to top the burger with turkey chili, and shredded cheese. They are sloppy and they feel sinful, but they don't have much fat at all.

Sometimes we get pre-packaged or frozen turkey burgers, so there is no chance to put your own seasonings inside, but they are really convenient. Grilling can dry out the Jennie-O patties, because they are very lean... But I got an idea from the Harper cafeteria, which serves really yummy turkey burgers. They keep the burgers in broth, and serve them from there. So we simmer ours in chicken stock until they turn white. It keeps them juicy, and you can strain the stock through a funnel and put the carton back in the fridge for re-use once or twice (the stock just gets more flavorful.)

Mmmm... well, now I'm all worked up, and I've gotta break for lunch... Hope you guys have a good one, too!

Grilled Turkey Sandwich

Mon, 25 Jun 2007 03:20:30 GMT

When I toured the campus at Illinois Wesleyan when I was 18, I fell in love with it. Winter had fallen on the campus, and a beautiful white blanket lay over the "quad." All was quiet, and I busily began imagining all the brilliant students hard at work learning SCIENCE and LITERATURE with delicious fervor. I would fit in here, I thought. It's okay for me to be a nerd here. These are my people. My dad chewed his lip and wondered how he could afford it. He had really just brought me to Bloomington to tour the campus of his alma mater up the street, Illinois State. In typical daughter fashion, I'd fallen in love with a more expensive option.

But Wesleyan smiles on the low to moderate-income honor student, and I found out that day that the "Green Weenie" (unofficial mascot name) financial plan for me included my choice of three meal plans. The school was starting a new system that next autumn, in which your student ID card functioned as a debit card for food. You could get a) all your meals in the school cafeteria, b) most of your meals there and a little "virtual money" at the school snack bar, or c) one meal a day in the cafeteria and $300 credit at the snack bar. I grimaced when the campus tour guide told us proudly, "and we're getting a new food service this year... MARRIOTT!!" My heart sank. My stomach flopped.

I knew for a fact that Marriott food service was just a new name for the same food service that I'd had all through grade school and high school: S.A.G.A. Food Service. I probably don't need to tell you that the food was awful. I never knew what it stood for, but the long version of the name that students had given it was "Soviets Attempting to Gag America." Enough said.

I went to Wesleyan anyway, and some of the food in the cafeteria was palatable. Some was not. I had a friend who swore that while working there, he read "Grade C Meat, But Edible" on the box of frozen burgers he unpacked. "BUT edible!" he repeated many times for emphasis, "BUT EDIBLE!" I know that I was stupid enough to give the Sweet and Sour Pork and something called Beef Ragout not one, but two tries each. I gagged them down, and was sent sprinting to the bathroom to gag them back up again for a total of four times together. The Soviets were winning!

Needless to say I opted every year for the maximum amount of money at the school snack bar, "the Dugout." The day the $300 credit ran out was a sad day, indeed, as there would be no real money to replace my play money. Far from the reaches of corrupt food service giants, the simple food there was made the way the counter ladies had been making it since the sixties. My favorite meal was a bag of Doritos, an iced tea, a banana, and a grilled turkey sandwich. "The Dugout" did this very well, and it not only got me through school and saved the fate of the free world, but it is still my favorite sandwich.

The sliced turkey (deli) meat was first grilled by itself on the flat-top grill, THEN placed on the bread with cheese to grill as you would a regular grilled cheese. You have to grill the meat first in the skillet when you make it. This is key. I like to dunk mine in a homemade 1,000 Island-style dressing: low-fat sour cream, Western dressing, and pickle relish. This addition was inspired by the Steak 'n Shake turkey melt, which I also love.

Long story, short recipe. That's how I'm doing it today. Also, I wanted you to know in advance why, if you say the word "ragout" in my presence, I will quite literally turn halfway inside out. Uuwhhhh. I can't abide by that!

Italian Chicken Couscous

Wed, 20 Jun 2007 15:29:01 GMT

I was going to call this Italian Couscous "Where the Grease Meets the Middle East," but I shouldn't advocate negative stereotypes of my own ethnicity. Not when "the Sopranos" just stopped doing that for me.

I'm not trying to be cute, but Chris went crazy for this couscous! (Okay, I'm being a little cute). But really, I always know how much he liked something when later on he says, "Remember that chicken and couscous thing? That was really good." If you know him, you know that's a rave review. I need to go to the store and get the ingredients to make this again soon... And if you know me, you know that for me not to be bored, and to contemplate a repeat means that it was pretty darned good.

I'm using a lot of different grains and pastas lately to support our usual proteins and vegetables. It took me awhile not to "fear the couscous." There really is no reason to, as it is a lot like the pastina I grew up eating. It is really just tiny pasta, and you can use it hot or cold the same way. Even better is that the instant stuff cooks up super fast, like in a minute and a half.

For this dish, I cooked up the couscous, chopped up some leftover grilled chicken, and some sun-dried tomatoes. Joe Caputo's has real, fresh sun-dried tomatoes that don't at all resemble the leather/jerky variety that I sometimes avoid... and they smell great. I had also purchased some fresh mozzarella there, and the round shapes were so small that I didn't have to chop them up, just drained and added them. I think they were called perlini, but I may just be inventing an Italian word there, the way my grandfather began calling the subway "il soob-a-way." It sounds good though, right?

Anyway, I also added chopped scallions, chopped garlic, some toasted pignoli (pine nuts browned quickly in another pan), and some finely chopped celery for crunch. Then I drizzled it with just enough olive oil to coat, and a little shake of white wine (or you could use a little vinegar) for acidity. You could use as much of each as you want, generally though, the oil to acid ratio should be 2:1. Then, you know, salt and pepper.

I served this at room temperature or a little warm, and we just ate the leftovers cold. It was really summery, but a nicely filling lunch, too. Would have been great even without the chicken, too -- as a vegetarian entrée or as a side to bring to a party.

Bacon Fried Rice

Thu, 14 Jun 2007 20:13:31 GMT

I know, I know, it sounds sinful... But it wasn't, really. I had some of that wonderful turkey bacon from Trader Joe's, some leftover brown rice and some veggies (like shredded carrots), so I diced the bacon, diced garlic, and some red onions in just a little olive oil, and tossed in the rice and some slivered almonds. Lastly, I drizzled in a couple of beaten eggs until they scrambled (takes a few seconds).

If I'd had some eggplant and some fresh basil, I might have added that for a sort of thai flavor. Sounds naughty, actually very nice... tastes great!

Wilson's Grill

Sun, 10 Jun 2007 14:49:36 GMT

Now and then, when I go to visit Ma, we will make a pilgrimage to Fairfield, IL to go to the Farmer's Store. Don't know where that is? What if I told you it was in front of "CDC's New 2 U Resale Shop" and across the street from Buehler's Buy Low? Ah, thought that might help.

I don't know where the Farmer's Store gets their merchandise, but it is the greatest. They have cheap fabric and sewing notions, clothing stocks so old you can get stuff from the sixties with the tags still on, shoes, earrings, belts... You can shop until you drop for less than forty bucks.

They don't have food there, but we of course had to stop on the way to eat. She suggested Wendy's, which I like, but I wanted to go somewhere more local. We found Wilson's Grill and it seemed to be just what I wanted.

Everyone kind of stared at us for a second when we walked in, but I'm pretty used to that in southern Illinois. Even as kids, my brother and I would get just a little too tan and provoke questions as to our heritage. As teenagers, we looked worse than foreign -- we looked like delinquents. And foreign. We'd routinely get followed around stores by worried managers.

Anyway, once inside, everyone was really friendly. Clearly, they just recognized out-of-towners. Of course, I also realized that I had forgotten my camera. I looked up and saw this sign, and I knew I was going to have to document the experience:

I sprinted across the street and purchased a disposable camera. They only had one variety at the gas station. I want you to know, that the pictures in this post may not be top quality -- but they cost me ten bucks. Appreciate that fully.

I ordered the pickles, and a burger with cottage cheese. I don't do french fries with my burgers, you may remember. Especially not when I'm eating deep fried pickles, anyway.

The burger was fresh and tasty. Certainly as good as Wendy's. Okay, better. And the pickles?

Pretty good, too, I must say. No surprises there -- imagine a deep fried dill pickle, and you'd be fairly accurate at predicting the taste. And the experience, for me, was well worth the ten-spot. Especially since Ma treated me to lunch!

Grilled Polenta

Thu, 07 Jun 2007 18:29:10 GMT

Sometimes you just want a change from the "same old same old..." And during the summer, I just can't get away from my grill. Okay, my grill pan. We do still live in a condo, after all. But you could make this on a charcoal or gas grill for a nice, smokier flavor.

I just bought some pre-made polenta. It comes in a tube, and they sell it in the larger chain grocery stores now. As a kid, I was never much interested in cooked polenta. It usually came to the table in the form that looked like thick Cream of Wheat (which I liked, but does anyone get a big thrill out of it?) I viewed it as simply "filler." I was even less interested as an adult, because it can take some time to cook, unless you use an instant variety. If you didn't know, it is really corn meal.

The only kind I really got a kick out of was the grilled polenta at my beloved (God rest its soul) Cafe Angelo, that used to be located on Wabash in Chicago. It came on a platter with other grilled delights, like portobello mushrooms and octopus. That's what gave me this idea to buy the prepared polenta, slice it, grill it and serve it, topped with browned turkey meat with jar tomato sauce added (which appeals to my husband more than the octupus might.)

I thought this also might be a cute passed appetizer for parties, especially one in which you were going to grill the entreé, anyway. You could thicken the sauce by adding some tomato paste to the turkey and pasta sauce (so that it didn't run so much.) Then you could grill the rounds, and place a small spoonful of sauce on top of each one with a sprig of basil or oregano. Then you'd have a "two-bite" appetizer with no sticks to dispose of!

Turkey Tricolore

Tue, 05 Jun 2007 17:35:59 GMT

I love ground turkey, but let's face it, it can be kind of bland. I've tried lots of different ways of spicing up turkey burgers, and this is one of my favorites. I call it "Turkey Tricolore" because of the festive colors in it: mostly red, green, and yellow. Okay, well, I never called it that before, but now I am.

Here are some of the things I throw in there, depending on what I have on hand. This is a good meal to make the same week you make tacos (I know, haven't posted the recipe yet), because you could just buy two packages of ground turkey, use a lot of the same ingredients, and use a lot of the same condiments.

1 lb. ground turkey
1 drained can Ro-tel tomatoes and green chiles mix
1/2 medium yellow onion, diced fine
2 or 3 diced garlic cloves
1 small fistful diced cilantro
a liberal dusting of mexican seasoning (second entry, scroll down)
1 egg
1/2 teasp. liquid smoke
a good slosh of Worcestershire sauce
salt
pepper

That's it! Mix it lightly with your hands, and form into patties and grill. You can serve it with taco fixings by itself, with cheese on a bun, or my favorite way: with a broiled slice of smoked cheese, like smoked gouda or smoked mozzarella. Hoo boy. Smoke-a-riffic.

Butter and Basil Sauce

Sun, 27 May 2007 14:42:02 GMT

I usually buy tomato sauce in batches of five or six jars at a time... Which is why I never expect to run out, and I am inevitably shocked to find that there are no jars left when I go to make a little ravioli. Chris and I buzz around the condo, checking out our creative hiding places that we have to utilize because I buy in bulk, and yet do not have the space for it. But sometimes, after checking all three upper cabinet areas, in the bedroom linen closet behind the dishwasher liquid, and under the bed -- I realize we really are out and I have to come up with something else.

Luckily, a little minced fresh garlic, some red pepper flakes, olive oil and butter will do the trick. And if you have some fresh basil and a little white wine to add at the end, so much the better. Tastes like you meant to give red sauce a break.

Arancini (Leftover Risotto)

Thu, 24 May 2007 17:14:36 GMT

It's the sequel you've been waiting for... arancini!

I posted about these things once before, when we went to eat at L'Appetito in Glenview. They are so named because they look like little oranges, which is the literal translation of the word in Italian or Sicilian. But appearances aside, it ain't health food.

Personally, though, I don't think they're so bad now and then. Because of the size, one is really a meal. We had ours with a green salad (which always takes the curse off a little). And veggies and cheese are good for you! Mangiare!

They were really easy to make. I had the prepared risotto in the fridge overnight. Then I shaped them into smallish orange-sizes in my hands. I had the beloved Siciliano egg-wash set up: one bowl with a couple beaten eggs, one with white flour, and one with Japanese (panko) breadcrumb -- though you can use regular (I just thought this might give a finer, crunchier consistency). I'd do it again. (It was crunch-arrific).

Before rolling, I poked a nice hunk of mozzarella cheese into the center of each ball and re-covered it. I used the shrink-wrapped cheese for this, because the fresh buffalo mozzarella in water tends to be too watery for this kind of thing... Then I rolled it in white flour, then egg, then breadcrumb. Then I dropped each into a few inches of olive oil that was plenty hot. I just turned them until they were golden brown on all sides. When we cut into them, the fork crunched through the center, and the cheese gooshed out.

Oh man. Look at that mesmerizing, hot puddle of cheese. Tell the truth -- if I told you to go slap your momma right now, you'd do it, wouldn't you?

When I was done with all the risotto I had, I was left with this hot oil and egg-wash setup, all willing and able. So I cut the rest of the cheese that I had into long strips, and breaded and fried that, too. When it came out and was draining on a paper towel, I salted it and seasoned it with a little Adobo seasoning and Italian seasoning mix. Oh lord. We may have enjoyed the cheese sticks most of all. And with the panko, you could hear the crunch next door, probably.

Just don't leave them in the oil too long -- the cheese gets very melty and may come right out of the breading.

All of this reheated very nicely in the oven the next day, too, although the arancini fared better than the cheese sticks at retaining their outer crunch and flavor. I would recommend making a pig of yourself on those the very first day when they are freshly fried. (Have some salad for a couple of days afterwards, and you'll be able to suppress those voices of regret pretty darn easily, I promise). I think the arancini may even freeze well, which I'll try the next time.

For any male in the house, of course fried balls provide an endless source of puns and comedy. I'm just warning you so that you're prepared for a lot of crassness and mugging.

Vegetable Risotto

Mon, 21 May 2007 18:45:23 GMT

One day not long ago I found myself with a great deal of mozzarella and fresh produce on hand, which not the worst position in which to find oneself. This risotto is a great way to get rid of a whole bunch of produce at once, if you're concerned about using it all before it goes bad... I diced up everything I had in the fridge: some garlic, onion, zucchini, yellow squash, mushrooms, and red and yellow bell peppers. I sauteéd the diced veggies in some olive oil with salt and pepper, in smaller chunks than I usually might have done, because I already had plans for the leftovers. (Wouldn't you like to know).

I then added all of the risotto that I had in the house, and stirred it all around until just toasty -- when the arborio rice starts to look a little translucent. Then you begin adding the liquid that is recommended on the box a bit at a time (if you are a box-reading sissy, that is), letting it cook down a bit before adding some more. Add, stir, add, stir. I used chicken stock, but you could use water or vegetable stock, too. Personally, I didn't measure anything. The best part about arborio rice is that it "tells" you when you are done adding liquid. You can taste it, and it should have a cooked rice texture instead of a crunch. Here it is before it is quite cooked:

When it is all said and done (maybe 20 minutes or so), I put the veggie risotto into individual crocks and broiled some good mozzarella cheese on top of each. Oh man. What's better than that? And it was so easy.

Chris and I each got our own little private casserole, which was cute. I think this would be a great way to get some veggies into veggie-proof kids, too, because it was all chopped fine and hidden beneath that blanket of mozzarella. If you think they'd pull the cheese off the top, then you could mix it up a little before giving it to them. That way, when they grow up, you can laugh and tell them how much smarter than them you used to be. It might make you feel better about the fact that they never call or write.

Stay tuned for the fate of the leftover risotto and mozzarella cheese...

Dad's Pasta Sauce

Fri, 18 May 2007 20:24:26 GMT

Okay, here it is -- the big one. Our dad's pasta sauce. Which he never would have called it. This is really Dad's "tomato gravy." Born to Sicilian parents on Long Island and raised in Queens, the word "pasta" was not really in Dad's lexicon. All pasta was called "macaroni," and the sauce was "red sauce" or "tomato gravy."

This is how his mother taught him to make sauce. As a side note, I'd like to address those who say that meatballs in sauce are not Italian. You don't know what you're talking about. The meatball is "native" to many European cultures, including Italy. You may not find Italians putting meatballs right on the pasta (it is more common for them to be served on the side), however, Sicilian-Americans definitely do. They (we) also tend to make meatballs larger than they do in the more northern regions, and we cook the meatballs (at least partially) right in the sauce. I've heard Alton Brown say that "he's never seen an Italian do that..." Well, he never came to our house I guess. Anyway, authentic native Italian food or not -- this is authentic Americano Siciliano food, you can believe that.

Dad's "gravy" is a vegetarian's worst nightmare. A veritable slaughterhouse buffet, the variety of meats contained in the sauce is the whole linchpin to the flavor. Without the meat, it is just runny red stuff. However, we didn't eat this stuff every day -- the way to do it is to freeze a few batches for later, or the arrival of last-minute company. Making this sauce is one of the only occasions on which I will buy red meat to prepare at home. And truly, it just has to be red meat. I've tried the sauce with all turkey-based products, and the outcome is nothing similar. So if you're gonna do it, go for it, and ask the animals' spirits to forgive you afterwards.

The sauce contains the Holy Meat Trinity: meatballs, Italian sausage, and short ribs. David prefers to use a leaner meat, like pork chops, instead of the short ribs (we argued about this once in the meat section of the grocery store). Well, Dad tended to use what was on sale. But for me, my memory is strongly attached to that tender short-rib meat falling off the bone after slow-cooking. You can fish the bones out before serving.

You prepare the meatballs, sausage, and short ribs as follows. Then you simmer them all in sauce, in a gigantic sauce pot or a couple of large standard pots, for half the day. That's pretty much it. So here are the ingredients, one at a time:

Meatballs:
I like to use about three pounds of meatloaf mixture, or a mix of beef, pork, and veal. (I usually do the beef and pork). Again, it is the mix of different types of meat that is really key here.

Add to that:

about a half cup of Italian-seasoned breadcrumb
one meduim, thinly diced yellow onion
two or three cloves of minced garlic
about 1/2 cup finely chopped parsely
two eggs
one cup of milk and a little water
salt and pepper
a couple of shots of worcheshire sauce

Hand-mix the meatball mixture. Start slowly with the breadcrumb -- too much will take away from the flavor of the meatballs, and cause your cantankerous Zia to complain that "those meatballs were just terrible... that's all I gotta say." Make sure that the mixture is still moist when you form the meatballs, but not too wet.

Dad used to brown the meatballs in oil. To me, this is a bit time-consuming, and adds a little more fat than you really need for flavor. I prefer to put the meatballs on tin foil atop a cookie sheet in a really hot oven while I brown the rest of the meat. You have to brown all the meat. You need that caramel-y flavor, and it seals the juices inside the meat. Trust me, I've skipped it before. Don't skip it. The meatballs, especially, will fall apart in the sauce if you skip this part. So -- 375-400 degrees, for ten to fifteen minutes. They just need to be brown on the outside, and they will still be raw on the inside. Note: Let the sauce simmer for about an hour-and-a-half before you add the meatballs, or else they will fall apart too early.

Sausage:
I use one package of sausage, but I will split one package of hot Italian sausage with one package sweet sausage, so that I have one package of half-and-half, and then save the other package for later in the freezer.

Brown the sausage in a skillet, and then place them in a large sauce pot. Again, the meat will be raw inside.

Short Ribs:
I use two packages. I like to trim some of the mega-fat off the ribs, but not all of it. I also trim off the membrane that's on the side. Then I sprinkle the meat with garlic powder, salt, and black pepper. Then you brown the meat in a skillet, drain them a bit on paper towels, and put them each in the large pot with the sausage.

Sauce:
These proportions will make the one giant batch of sauce that dad used to make:

Two large cans of tomato puree (I think it is 32 oz., but truthfully I don't even look anymore. There's one in the next picture.)
Two small cans of tomato paste
One of each empty can (one puree can, and one paste can), filled with mostly water and a little wine
Three or four minced cloves of garlic
Italian seasoning to taste -- about 1/8 to 1/4 cup (use minced fresh oregano and basil if ya got 'em)
A sprinkle of red pepper flakes, to taste
Salt (start with about 1/8 cup or a couple healthy pinches) and pepper

Making it:
This takes at least four hours. Five is better. Stir all the ingredients, starting slowly on all the seasonings. Then bring it to a boil, and lower it to a simmer. Every twenty minutes or so, use a tablespoon to skim off the deep red grease from the top. When you've skimmed it, stir it again. Wait and then skim, stir again. After an hour or two, add the meatballs and continue. If it needs more seasoning, add it. The sauce starts off very watery, but remember, it will reduce and thicken a lot with the lid off. If it thickens too much, you add more wine or more water.

My problem was that some of the meat always stuck and burned to the bottom, no matter how diligently I stirred it. I think this is because I can't shell out the dough for a decent stock pot (large ones with a non-stick base are expensive), and the metal on mine is very thin. Also, all that meat sinks and there is so much of it, it becomes very difficult to push it around without breaking it all apart.

So I came up with a solution. Now, I brown all my meat, lots and lots of it, and split it into smaller batches (still raw inside.) I put packets that each contain a few meatballs, a couple of sausages (halved so that they are easier to manage on a fork), and a couple of short ribs into the freezer in foil. Then, when I want sauce, I just unwrap one packet of frozen meat and put it into the crock pot (including the meatballs -- you can add them all at once this way). I add half of the amount of liquid in a normal batch: one can puree, one can paste, and about one can (of the puree) or the water and red wine. I season it, turn it on, put the lid on it, and walk away for five hours. Then I only skim it once or twice just before we eat it. Much easier, and no burning at the bottom.

I know it seems complicated, but really it is so simple, and you can feed an army with one batch. Or your family, four or five times if you freeze batches of the finished sauce.

And you gotta go all the way if you've come this far -- tons and tons of parmesano or romano, and real garlic bread to mop up what the pasta left behind.

Mangiare bene! E la ringrazia, il papà!

Tuna Salad Niçoise

Tue, 15 May 2007 18:50:26 GMT

This is a recipe that I made up, after being inspired by a tuna salad niçoise that I had ordered at a restaurant that had boiled potatoes in it. The tuna I ordered up was fresh tuna, done medium rare, but I used canned tuna... and it still tastes very fancy. Really, the traditional salad is served room temperature, but this modification is great ice cold out of the fridge for up to a week -- when all of the flavors have married together.

3/4 sack of Yukon Gold potatoes
1 large can albacore tuna, drained
large bunch fresh green beans, ends trimmed and cut in half
1/2 finely diced red onion
two handfuls rough chopped arugula
3 cloves minced garlic
handful minced fresh dill
1/2 bottle of champagne vinaigrette, or Newman's Light Honey Mustard dressing
juice of 1 lemon, plus plenty of grated lemon zest
plenty of salt, and pepper

Dice and boil the potatoes, steam the beans briefly and rinse all with cold water. Then just combine the rest to taste. I used some of that fancy champagne vinaigrette dressing the first time, but at 20 grams of fat per serving, I tried the Newman's light dressing (honey mustard) the second time, and I think I liked it even better. Also, if you don't want your salad to bite you back (although the flavors mellow a lot in the fridge) quite so much, you can use less garlic -- or substitute garlic powder. But I'm convinced that anything so potent has to have magical powers (and not just the power to make your date disappear,) so of course I'll stick with the raw garlic.

And I wouldn't skimp on the lemon or zest -- that's what makes this such a refreshingly crisp summer salad.

Happy Spring!

Tue, 08 May 2007 02:09:46 GMT

And very nearly summer... It was very warm up here today.

Just a pic of the flower cookies I made from the leftover cookie dough I had with the "Baby Teeth" cookies. I used the Christmas wreath cookie cutter and made a daisy pattern with the frosting that came in the kit. I had to transport these, so I dried the frosting for a few minutes on the cookies in an oven on the lowest temperature setting with the door open a crack for 15 minutes or so... Worked really well, since the frosting that came in the kit was a little more like cake frosting than the pure sugar frosting I had made myself.

Now go get some sun, run around and burn off those cookies!

First Annual Chicago Alefest

Sun, 29 Apr 2007 21:05:04 GMT

I'm very lucky to have several wonderful girlfriends who are committed to an approximately tri-annual "Girl's Night." However, a few weeks ago, I was feeling so stressed out and worried over school, that I really didn't want my mood to ruin an otherwise wonderful evening. In addition, I had pushed my husband about to his limits for dealing with a worried wife (not that he ever complained.) I felt a strong urge to bond with my boy on a night otherwise reserved for chicks, and I did so. We decided to go and have some fun, just the two of us, and I have no regrets.

Especially since we went to the First Annual Chicago Alefest at the Arlington Park Racetrack. Proceeds went to the Lupus Foundation of America, and boy, did I forget my troubles for the day!

Chris and I really LOVE craft or microbrewed beer -- the darker and more distinctive, the better. So we were really excited, and he had only come up with the idea on the spot that morning. Chris is full of good ideas. The event was in the afternoon, so we could spend a quiet evening in -- perfect!

When you walk in, they give you six tickets for $15, (one ticket = one beer), a raffle ticket, and a booklet on all of the beers that are available. Oh, and a nicely sized "taster" glass to fill with lovely, lovely beer.

I think most of these breweries know who their nerdy audience is. We were first sidelined to Eurobrew's Legendary Alehouse, who names their brews things like "Wychwood Hobgoblin," "Witchcraft," and "Black Sheep Holy Grail." I asked for the darkest brew, and got the "Kaiser Xingu Black Lager." It was smooth and mild and I was already happy. Chris had the nuttier, sharper-tasting "Wychwood," and we both liked that as well. And I totally know what I'm taking to the next Warren BBQ held annually on Bilbo Baggins' birthday. (Yes, they really do that.)

Next table we decided to spend tickets on was a brewery with its home in Quebec, the Unibroue (yoo-nee-broo). Once again, I was particularly attracted to the labeling and marketing (with all the beers there, you really have to like the marketing or the name to be able to decide what to get. Like picking a horse at the same location). Our friend Cam had recommended the "Trois Pistoles" at one time, and I got that. I absolutely loved it. It may have been my favorite of them all. It was a really dark beer, but had a sweet, sort of hefeweizen-y taste (which I love). Chris tried the "Maudite," which was very sharp in taste, and we liked that, too.

Next, we arrived a couple tables down at New Holland Brewing. I was torn between "the Poet" oatmeal stout, and the one I ended up trying, "Dragon's Milk Ale" (such a sucker for the name). It was not bad... sort of a flatter, chocolatey taste (and believe me, I only remember such specifics because I was writing these things down.) Chris had the "Zoomer," and I won't forget that one. I absolutely HATED IT. I have almost never meet a beer I don't like (although I'll avoid "Keystone Light" if I can help it), and I almost did a super-dramatic spit-take on the "Zoomer." My notes on the brew simply read, "More like 'Tumor."

In the state we got into, and with the vast selection available, it was difficult to choose. We resolved not to have anything we knew we loved, like Young's Double Chocolate Stout, anything from the RAM brewery, or our beloved Delirium Tremens. Just new stuff. You can buy extra tickets for not too much, but since we didn't have a designated driver, we stuck to our original tickets. And began to pace ourselves a little more. Most of these brews are up to 9% alcohol... So there were a couple we didn't get to try, like "Curve Ball," and the "White Water Wit" that Chris nearly chose in honor of his raft-loving brother.

We tried some Indiana brews: "Robert the Bruce" (very nice, snappy and smooth at once) and "Alpha King" (bright citrus flavor) from Three Floyds Brewing. Others we tried included a "Franziskaner Hefe Weiss," from Spaten in Munich, which was a really good, but not terribly unique hefeweizen beer, and "Old Scratch" from the Flying Dog Brewery, which was a good amber ale, but I was forgetting to record what we thought of things by that time. I was laughing too much. And Chris tells me he can't remember it at all. (Can't have been too bad.) We also enjoyed Mickey Finn's (of Libertyville) "Replicale," which had that nice sharp orange-peel flavor, and a nice, mild "Dunkelweizen" from Flatlander's Brewery in Lincolnshire. And since the gentleman from one of those places was nice enough to let me keep a ticket, I got to try my second favorite: Dogfish Head Brewery's "Raison D'Etre." Chris and I sharply disagreed on this one -- he did not like it, but I thought it was great. It was really strong, and you had to sip it for sure. But it has a raisiny, carmel taste that I thought was really different. I dug it.

Anyway, by this time everything had gone to our heads, and we had to sit on the steps for awhile before departing. We were giggly and having a blast. I would definitely hype this event to ANYONE who loves beer, beyond the world of Bud Light. I called my brother from the event so that he could locate, via Yahoo!, a German restaurant for us to go to afterwards (I'll post on that place next), and I remember telling him that I was going to plan all my future pregnancies around this event. And I still mean that.

"Let's Get Some F*%kin' French Toast..."

Sat, 28 Apr 2007 22:47:25 GMT

A little more than a year ago, Chris asked for my instruction on how to prepare French Toast. He became quite frustrated during the process, as he usually does whenever he performs something for the very first time, and afterwards no one solemnly presents him with an embossed certificate proclaiming him the "Ultimate Maestro" of whatever that new thing is. We have that in common, actually. It will be very sad for everyone to see us pass this trait onto all of our future children -- a gaggle of neurotic kids that feel completely worthless if they can't do something perfectly the first time, at the age of three.

Anyway, I think he's ready for his certificate. He's better at this particular dish than I am. And believe it or not, I'm totally okay with that.

Turkey Bacon Bread

Wed, 25 Apr 2007 18:09:47 GMT

This past year, at some point, I saw Paula Deen bake off some breadsticks with bacon wrapped around them. I wondered if I could recreate the dish with light breadstick dough and turkey bacon. They came out very nicely (not to spoil the ending).

I took refrigerated breadstick dough, twisted them, sprinkled them with parmesan cheese shreds, and baked them off halfway (just until they were a semi-solid object that I could wrap the bacon around.) Then I wrapped them with turkey bacon so that the ends were tucked underneath, and put them in for another ten minutes or so (or just over half the time remaining.)

We ate them with a salad, with my beloved goat cheese and some veggies.

Chris really enjoyed these, and they reheated very nicely out of the fridge. I think he just used the microwave, but I'm not sure. I just know that for a few days I would see him walking around the house, happily snacking on a bacon stick at any time at random.

Here's one last and slightly disturbing shot, with Chris looking a bit like a Shel Silverstein illustration, ominously moving in on some unsuspecting breadsticks...

BBQ Crockpot Chicken

Mon, 23 Apr 2007 02:31:35 GMT

I've mentioned making BBQ chicken in the crockpot before, when I talked about BBQ chicken and goat cheese pizza. But I've tweaked my formula a little bit, and I thought it might be worth mentioning. Put the following mess into a crockpot, and while you might not believe me to look at it beforehand, this actually comes out as BBQ!

About four breasts of chicken, raw or even frozen
two cups of catsup, or ketchup if ya nasty
one cup of mustard, any kind
one capful of liquid smoke
about a half cup or more of molasses
one cup of brown sugar
as much Red Hot sauce as you think you'll like
a "couple, two-tree" shots of bourbon
half a medium onion, diced finely
two cloves diced garlic
a shake of cumin and a sprinkle of coriander
salt and pepper

Cook that on low for four to six hours, depending on whether the chicken is frozen or not. Go past the stage where it is cooked and will shred, on to the stage where those proteins break and it shreds easily. Shred it all right in the pot with two forks.

The recipe has a high sugar content, as all BBQ sauce does, but no fat. Here I put it on a toasted roll with my beloved banana peppers, and of course, goat cheese. Because if food could have love affairs, goat cheese and BBQ sauce would totally make out like Bogie and Bacall.

X-Rated Bachelorette Bread

Sat, 14 Apr 2007 19:23:04 GMT

I have thought long and hard about posting this, and believe me, that's only the first of several dirty pun opportunities that I'm probably going to fall into during the course of this post without even knowing. But I mean, there are some lovely people reading this blog now, including someone's grandmother, for crying out loud. But I still "gotta be me, what else can I be?" Call it artistic integrity, if you're inclined to be optimistic about my character. Or if not, blame the fact that too many of my formative years were spent in an all-male household, and as we all know, men are dirty, dirty pigs. Right? Okay, we'll blame them.

So while warning you that this post is not for the faint-hearted, or those with delicate (or even normal) sensibilities, I give you without further ado... Cheezy Olive Penis Bread. Now famous amongst about ten of my closest friends, whom I have personally horrified with its presentation.

Why, oh why, you are asking, would I do something like this? Well, two things brought about my horrific creation. Long ago, I made some pepperoni rolls, in an attempt to recreate that which was sold by Gumby's Pizza in Champaign, IL. And I was pretty successful. It was photographed, of course.

I used refrigerated light breadstick dough or pizza dough, and turkey pepperoni (low in fat). I wrapped the dough around a stick of light string cheese and the pepperoni, and brushed them with a little light butter when they came out. Then we dipped them in light ranch dressing. (I think all that light stuff adds up, so they weren't very fatty at all.) They were delicious, but Chris and I couldn't help but notice that they had a slightly, ah, rude shape that made us snicker. A "two-headed" appearance, if you will.

The next fateful event was the engagement of my delightful friend, Jenny. We had a bachelorette gathering in her honor, to which she specified, "absolutely no penises, please." She was more referring to something large or inflatable that she would be forced to wear/carry/take photos with as we went out later on... But my first reaction, of course, was to make it a most penisful evening, indeed. She's a nice person, and she doesn't deserve to be treated that way. Serves her right for having me in her life.

I went to the naughty store, and I thought about purchasing the penis cake pan. But, how typical is that? My friend deserved better. Something crafted by my own loving hands. Aha, I remembered! The pepperoni rolls! All I needed to do was alter the, ah, base. Oh, I'm not gonna dance around it, if you've read this far, you can take it. I needed a nutsack. So I purchased some gourmet jalepeno-cheese stuffed olives, and some black olives (because I didn't know which size would look better.) Let the experimentation begin!

I told Chris when I got back from the store that I was going to bake a batch of bread in the shape of penises. "Okay," he said, shrugging. "I'll take the pictures for you."

I figured out early on that I couldn't incorporate the pepperoni, or any pasta sauce (I had thought at first to make them pizza-style). There just wasn't room in there. Plus, the red pizza sauce sort of took it from "stag film" to "snuff film." I didn't want to go there, quite. (I wanted to be Rip Taylor, not Lorena Bobbitt). I also realized that simply pinching the dough together wouldn't keep it from bursting open (I know, I know) so I started using toothpicks, weaving them into a seam. I only had colored toothpicks -- yellow (I know, I know).

I placed the olives and the cheese, well, you know. Then I wove one toothpick through the top, making the unspeakable vein shape. Hang in there. Then I folded the top over, and pinned it with one more toothpick at the back, forming, um, the little hole. Sorry, everyone, so sorry. We're almost there.

Some of them still opened a little in the oven, but overall, they came out ("It's Raining Men" starts playing at those words) pretty well. I brought some marinara sauce and um, ranch for dipping with me to the party. (I know, I know).

I walked into a room full of still-sober ladies who asked me, "What did you bring, Gina?" "Penis bread," I announced. There was not one snicker of laughter. Nothing. I could actually hear the crickets chirping. Then someone, Ann I think, said, "Well, let me try one!" Ann is a fairly picky eater, and for being the first brave soul to try my creation, she promptly bit into the one toothpick I had been unsuccessful in finding. Yeah, watch out for that. And she doesn't even like olives.

"Oh dang," I thought. Failure! I thought. But slowly, with some drinks and growing hunger, every lady tried a uh, member of her own. Everyone talked about how delicious they were. I was like, yeah, great, but don't you think it's funny? Sure, sure, they said. Give me another one, they said, I'm starving.

I realized as the party went on that I had gotten so caught up in my project that I hadn't gotten Jenny a rude gift, as everyone else had done. Ann said, "Gina... Did you, or did you not fashion bread into the shape of a penis?" Yes, Ann. Yes I did.

When my friends bring this up, they still say "those were so tasty! Make those again!" And I'm okay with that. The novelty factor still makes me chuckle, personally, but in the end (if you spotted that one, you really do have a dirty mind) I'd rather people thought my food was tasty than anything else. Shape doesn't really matter.

Hackney's Restaurant

Thu, 12 Apr 2007 02:03:13 GMT

Chris and I have been trying to try Hackney's for quite awhile... We went on the Saturday after Valentine's Day, but the line was too long (no, we aren't bright enough to make reservations for Valentine's Day weekend, and yes, we did end up at Burger King). We went one Saturday in the late morning, but they weren't open yet. But one fine day, our timing was perfect, and we went for lunch.

The menu is really simple. Just a few favorites and traditional American fare. I wanted to get a burger, because we read that they had been voted amongst the best burgers in America by the Food Network. I decided on the buffalo burger. You can pick your bread -- I went with what David calls an "eggy wegg" -- an egg bun. You have to pay for certain extras, unfortunately... Sauteed mushrooms, grilled onions, avocado, swiss cheese all cost up to a dollar each. I ended up getting what amounted to a twelve dollar burger, which reminded me of that commercial where a restaurant gets its Miller High Life priveledges revoked.

But after I got the burger, you know what? I would have paid twenty. Don't tell Hackney's.

The meat was lean, but not dry. I have to say this was maybe the best burger I'd ever had. I even liked the cole slaw, which I rarely do. I like the finely chopped, cold sweet and pale variety, and that's what I got (okay, so I'm no common-sewer)... I got it with cottage cheese instead of fries, because I don't like to waste a million calories on french fries when all I really want is that burger.

Chris got the turkey burger, but he liked mine a lot better. (So here's mine again).

What's more, I just loved this place. I loved the dark, cigar-stained, woody atmosphere, the placemats and the water glasses, and the old junk on the walls (real junk, like paint-by-numbers pictures and obscure trophies, all gathering a good deal of dust). It felt like the type of place that your fedora-wearing uncle would get you into with a secret handshake.

I'm going to go back, and try some other things on the menu. Gonna be tough not to get that same burger, though. Sucks to get it perfectly right the first time!

Baby Teeth

Mon, 02 Apr 2007 01:02:24 GMT

Okay. Not a baker. We've been over that.

So when I was arranging a surprise shower for my friend Jen M. at school, I had this idea to bake cookies in the shape of teeth and brushes with cutters that I got at RDH Novelties and Gifts, use them for favors, and put a little card on each bag that said "A New Set of Baby Teeth!" But I don't even like making the sugar cookie dough from a box mix, let alone from scratch (and let's face it, I'm not very good at it either way, see "Christmas Cookies in L.A.") so I went to the store in search of the pre-made kind that comes in a tube. See, I'm more interested in the crafty aspects of cookie making... the decorating. But lo, when I arrived at the store, I saw that Pilsbury has at last produced cookie dough already made, and already flattened into sheets of the perfect thickness. They seem to be a seasonal item, just for Easter, I think. Just another reason why it is so, so great that Jesus rose from the dead. Let's just say I felt saved... for a second time. Oh, and they were on sale!

I knew I had to make enough cookies for 40 people, so that meant 40 toothbrushes, and 80-100 teeth (I put two in each bag.) And, oh, have you seen the size of my kitchen?

I turned the little space into a busy little factory. But, you're thinking, I took a shortcut. It should have been easy, right? Well, yes. But a bit time consuming. The little pieces on the molars took some finesse.

I had to figure out, also, how to elevate the cookies a bit, or at least place them on something that I didn't have to bake them on... Because I knew there would be run-off from the icing. I also didn't use the icing that came with the cookies, because I wanted it to harden nicely. So I used powdered sugar and a little milk.

The necessity of all the types of surfaces I would need was almost too much for the little alley kitchen I've got. The cookie dough, however, came with little cardboard trays and wax paper, so I transferred them to those for frosting. (I only have one cookie rack that we registered for, for crying out loud).

I mixed blue food coloring with the frosting for the toothbrushes. Jen was having a boy (she has now had the boy, Brandon, and I already love the boy), so I wanted a nice soft blue. For all this, I used a cake/pastry decorating kit I'd gotten at Jewel some time ago... But I think trimming the corner off of a plastic bag would have worked just fine.

It was a gluey, mortar-like mess by the end. The frosting hardens on your hands, the bowl, the spatula... And I wasn't sure if the blue was going to come off of everything. (I mean, the blue! My god, the blue!) But it all came out with machine-like precision (thank you again, my Lord and Savior). And Chris very much enjoyed eating my mistakes. And mugging with them, as well.

The cookies dried overnight, and I put them into bags the next day. I may have just bit off more than I could chew with the whole shower... I also had the task of getting two enormous wrapped strollers upstairs, and sweet-and-sour meatballs in a crockpot. But I had a lot of help, and all the other girls at school really went the extra mile, too. They all said the cookies were delicious. And I think Jen was at least mostly surprised. :) It was a blast!

Don Roth's Blackhawk Restaurant

Thu, 29 Mar 2007 16:20:30 GMT

For my birthday a couple weeks ago, I chose the exact same restaurant we went to last year, and ordered exactly the same things. It sounds boring, but I had waited a whole year... And you can build up quite an appetite in that amount of time!

Don Roth's Blackhawk holds the current position of my very favorite restaurant. (Other than Roscoe's Chicken-n-Waffles, in L.A. More on that later). I love the history and the ambience... and I have now been lucky enough to have two perfect meals there. And sorry, in my anticipation and purtying up for the evening, I forgot the camera. Thank goodness for that camera phone!

Your meal begins with bread crisps that are covered with drawn butter, and huge amounts of sweet roasted garlic. Enough said, there.

Next, just as last year, we got the shrimp cocktail. Again, not reinventing the wheel here, but it is just a perfect example. The shrimp are large and perfect, and the cocktail sauce is sweet and made from scratch (I think so, anyway). It is almost like a sweet-and-sour sauce.

Don Roth's is famous for their "spinning salad bowl." They actually sell the salad dressing in the grocery store, but I hadn't thought much of it when I purchased it before I went to the restaurant. I recommend using it a marinade, though... So what happens in the house is, the server comes over and does this special sort of act with the salad prep in front of you. He will whizz the bowl around over a bed of ice, and add the house dressing and toss the salad as he does so. Then he add blue cheese dressing IN ADDITION TO THE HOUSE DRESSING. Yeah. Happy birthday to me! Then he offers you the choice of "anchovies, shrimp, or both?" Chris and I had not heard the "both" portion of the deal the last time, and we exchanged a look, like, "Oh, you know we're taking both."

You would think that I would be full by this point, but if it is possible, I think I was actually hungrier than when I came in.

Next step? My prime rib. This is the small, the smallest portion that they have (!) The server asked me how I wanted it done, and of course the answer to that is, "however it comes off when the cook slices it is how I want it on the plate." That'll be approximately medium-rare.

And you GOTS to get the twice-baked potato. Now, I am very picky about my TBP's. At our wedding reception, my mother-in-law was pushing for the selection of that restaurant's twice-baked... But though the otherwise utterly fantastic food was the reason we chose Monastero's (and I mean, like your sainted mother made it herself), I knew that, weirdly, the potatoes were the kind that come frozen. (You can always tell this by those perfect little machine-placed whipped peaks on the top.) She thinks they are great, but I say she can keep 'em (we got the risotto, with peas, which was terrif). Anyway, I want my TBP mixed up on the spot with real cheese and sour cream. I mean, those are fine, but who wants to go to a restaurant for something you can buy at Jewel? Well, if you are the same way I am, Roth's will not disappoint!

Afterwards, I awaited my large red balloon and free dessert. This last visit found the restaurant quite a bit busier than the last time, I guess since it actually was St. Patrick's Day. I gave up on the candle and the song, and asked for a dessert menu. My waiter said, "Oh, I got something special coming for ya!"

I can see why he thought I would like it. Chris' instructions were, "something so chocolatey you could die from it." We got a chocolate cake with a scoop of vanilla, and hot fudge. While I thought the flourless torte we got last time was better, I thought the hot fudge was insanely good.

You can see how much we hated it.

The Low-Carb Experiment (Part 3 of 3)

Wed, 28 Mar 2007 02:44:55 GMT

So here's the last thing I did on Ma's last illustrious weekend here. And boy, she hasn't been getting this treatment lately. She's been coming into the hygiene clinic to sit as my patient, and then going home the next day. I'll treat her like a special guest again in May!

The Kraft South Beach book had a recipe for Sun-Dried Tomato Steaks... only thing is, it called for some no-carb steak sauce that I couldn't find. And what I mean by that is, they didn't have it at Joe Caputo's, and I didn't go anywhere else. I made them with the cheat of using my beloved Country Bob's steak sauce instead.

They were very simple to make. You brown lean steaks in the pan, then remove them. In the pan, you then sautee garlic and sun-dried tomatoes (Caputo's had excellent fresh ones, of course, that smelled like a summer garden). Then you add some beef broth, and some steak sauce, and pour that over your steaks. Poof. Fancy steaks.

The mock potatoes are steamed cauliflower that you transfer to the food processor. I added lowfat ricotta cheese, salt and pepper, garlic, and parmesan. You can also use fat-free cream cheese. You can add broth or milk, if you need to thin them. I think they were everyone's favorite part of the meal. They need a lot of seasoning, but once you add plenty I think they are delicious. They reheat really well, too, over the course of up to a week and then some. (I made a lot).

After her time here, I called Ma and she said she'd given up on South Beach already. Still, I think the recipes are keepers. Personally, I can't say I really believe in any diet that requires me to do anything too precisely. I'd rather stick to my own parameters, and the flexibility that I have within those "personal rules." I'd rather go light one day if I overdid things the day before. It just feels less fascist.